Maybe I Will
Sandy Peareson loves Shakespeare and aspires to attend the Julliard School of Drama in New York City. At 16, Sandy’s biggest concern is what role to play in the high school spring musical Peter Pan. Then with the Ides of March comes an unsettling event that Sandy endures alone and in silence. Sandy changes abruptly from an outgoing, confident teenager into a confused and tormented victim. Escape through alcohol provides temporary relief, but recasts Sandy as the criminal rather than the victim. Sandy’s closest friends waver in their response from simple desertion to outright betrayal. Will new friendships result in new betrayals? Can Sandy withstand the external pressures and sort through the inner voices to develop real character? Sandy’s secret is sexual assault. Written in the first person with no indication of Sandy’s gender, Maybe I Will presents each reader with two very different books depending upon his or her own projection of Sandy as male or female. Either way, Sandy struggles with the inherent conflict of wanting to fit in, even acting as if one fits in, while desperately needing to find and to be oneself. Sandy’s parents, a lawyer and a professor of Shakespeare, are remarkably supportive, but powerless to solve Sandy’s problems. Each chapter of Maybe I Will begins with a quote from Shakespeare that foreshadows or adds deeper meaning to the upcoming events. Sandy resists conformity, yet discovers a freedom of self-expression through the physical forms in taekwondo and the poetic form of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Sandy eventually goes from feeling overpowered by other people and difficult circumstances to embracing the genuine personal empowerment that exists potentially in every human being.
